Dear Last-Half-of-Your-20-Somethings...
Jennie Allen posted this quote to her Instagram:
20s are for discovering it
30s are for honing it…
What a relief.
If you talk to college students (and this was me also…) some feel that by 21 they need to have found it, honed it, and be engaged to someone is currently killing it.
Yikes.
Not even possible.
So…
On the last day of my 20s, here’s what I would say to me in the back half of my 20s.
Hey you sweet lil 25-year-old,
How are your nails? Cuticles need help?
Go ‘head and get that manicure, you’ll feel better about it all.
Be gentle with yourself.
There are 4,365 things that another woman (or an Instagram ad) will try to convince you to spend $30 on that will improve your self-care routine.
Better face wash.
Wax strips.
A supplement.
A hair mask.
Just be choosy, babe.
You’re not going to get back your 10th-grade-cross-country-body back. Probably ever.
You know what’s free?
Looking at yourself with kinder eyes.
The world is legit scary…
Remember how fearless you were back in high school?
Your courage didn’t decrease since then, you just found out that there is unspeakable sadness and horrifying injustice running rampant.
If you don’t manage that fear, it could overwhelm you at times (and still might).
When you feel like you can’t just one more second of anxiety, take it to the Father, and then read this quote:
“You are one in whom Christ delights
& dwells & you live in the strong
and unshakable kingdom of God.”
…so keep finding reasons to celebrate.
You’ll drive a LOT of miles to weddings, showers, birthdays…
Your people from college are spreading out. You’ll get invited to stuff that’s 3 hours away. Just go. Keep investing.
You won’t regret celebration mileage.
Don’t get stuck…
You are about to discover a hundred more things you’re good at.
And a hundred tasks you don’t enjoy.
You’re about to see things in yourself that will make you say
“I could work a lot of different jobs and do pretty well, I think.”
You’ll see your gifts clarify and then
have
a big
identity crisis
trying to plan out the next steps.
…you could work a few different kinds of jobs.
When you find this ^ out about yourself you’ll feel further than ever from
finding your magic,
finding your one big thing,
finding your success.
But actually, you’re closer than ever.
Now you’re discovering that the truest you isn’t defined by a gifting and a job title.
The truest you brings a particular flavor to
every single team.
Every single dinner with friends.
Every single wedding day,
photoshoot,
staff meeting,
zoom call.
Some people stop right here and spend the whole rest of their lives chasing that one job that will match, honor, recognize, pay for, and bring out their strengths.
But you’re not like them.
Here’s where you find that the real fulfillment is in laying down your gifts, receiving the season (job) that you’re in, and bringing your WHOLE SELF TO THE TABLE in service of the people around you.
Here’s where you let go of what you’re going to do next…
That will come. Just stay curious. Keep learning.
Jobs will come and go and not be all they were cracked up to be in the interview.
…and start deciding who you’re going to be.
But you?
You will lay every gift, every weird job (even/especially waitressing) at the feet of Jesus and say
“the lines
have fallen
for me in pleasant places”
…so THANK YOU Lord for this step in the journey.
May my gifts be used
not for money or satisfaction
or glory,
but to help others long for our truer
brighter
home,
and bring glory to you and you alone, Oh Lord.
And I believe that this is your heart also, so I trust that you will bring this to pass, and I do not need to control
apply
market myself
persuade
or network
my way into any job
any promotion
any room
because you are able to make all things work together, and your timing is (often frustrating but...)
so so good.
The last half of your 20s is when you find out…
…that the joy is found not in climbing UP the ladder,
but in climbing down to hold the ladder for others.
And hopefully in your 30s, you’ll get good or even decent at this.
…that there is more listening to be done.
Listening to yourself.
When you find the Enneagram or the Strengths Finder or the Myers Briggs, linger there and listen to it. Let it offend your weaknesses, so you learn how you’re most likely to injure others.
Let the listening to your own tendencies be a place of growth for you.
Listen to others.
Seriously, sweet verbal one, just stop talking sometimes and see what happens.
Listen to God.
He’s whispering to you all the time. Every moment. If you can’t hear, then remember it’s hard to hear a whispering friend from across a crowded room when you’re staring at your phone.
And that you belong here.
Even the parts of you that you don’t love need to be invited to the table and given a voice because they’re part of what make you YOU and when we let ourselves belong, it’s like coming home at the end of a work day and taking your bra off. It’s like the first bite of Annie’s mac and cheese. It’s like the first step in a new pair of TJ Maxx slippers, when you stop stiff-arming the parts of you that you don’t just adore.
The discovering you do in your 20s? It means coming home to yourself, sweetheart.