I know that you can, but I'm not sure that you will (on my behalf).

I know that you can…

I say this to God
Because I have plenty of belief for a mountain to get tossed in the sea.

I say this to people.
Because if anyone can see the gold in a person, I can.

…but I’m not sure you will…

I say this to God.
Because I don’t know how to trust when I see such varied outcomes when we pray.

I say this to people.
As I watch them choose less than their best and scroll on their phones and forget to show up.

…on my behalf.

** whispers to God
** whispers to people

Because I am scared that you won’t show up for me when it matters most.

Assuming I know what’s best.
Making it about me.
Forcing my needs, my agenda.
If I don’t, maybe I’ll be forgotten.
Believing I’ll crumble without the outcome I want.

Maybe I’m not making the most perfect request.
Because if all things work together for the good
then if this hits the ground,
I have to accept it
on this side of our more perfect home.

But I don’t know how to find the most perfect request.
I can’t craft the right prayer,
I always fail at asking for what I actually need
I see my own ache and that’s it.

In fact if this cup could pass from my lips…

If your will is the flood
then I will build until I have a boat ready
And I will not grip the ground I know
But agree to float towards a higher home
Not looking back but looking for the olive branch
bringing peace
and more proof that you can and
you will
and your will
will be had.
My behalf
will be held
and I’ll hold
them also
with grace
and belief
that their best
is the best
that they’re giving today
and my gift is
the breath
and the breadth
of belief.